I'm Babette.

So some certain girls came over to my house the other day to visit. Only one of the girls was there to begin with, so we were just talking. She's maybe 20 or 21, and she's a cute girl. Very expressive, kind of little-girl face. As we were waiting for the second girl to show up, she asked if I was dating anybody, her face expectant and excited. "Nope," I replied. Her face just totally fell. Her smile quickly turned into a frown, she gave me a sad look and said, "I'm sorry!"

Is anybody else shocked at this reaction? I was!! Does my whole life's happiness depend on whether or not I'm dating anybody? I assured her that I am fine with the situation, but apparently I shouldn't be. After all, how old am I again? Wow. Not seventeen anymore, eh? With no boyfriend, no prospects even. How sad. Tell me about it, right? Don't worry about that girl, though, she's about to get back together with her boyfriend. Phew.

This interaction was followed up by another with one of my co-workers. I told her about what had happened with my visitor, laughing at the girl's reaction, and my co-worker asked me how old I am. I told her that I'm 24, soon to be 25, and she asked if I was excited for my birthday. I guess I didn't show enough enthusiasm for my upcoming birthday, because she spent the next 15 minutes apologizing for mentioning it. Her words: "I thought you weren't excited about your birthday because you're getting old!" And she wasn't joking. Another 21 year old, just FYI, already married. So, you know, she's got me beat.

I've been thinking about these two interactions quite a bit this past week. I think this is what I hate most about the culture in which I live: the idea that if a girl is over 22 and not married, she is old. And probably never going to get married. Which, you know, makes sense, because who would want that? Honestly. But there is something seriously wrong with a culture that makes people think that their worth somehow goes down as their age goes up. At least, for single people. Good-for-nothings! But really, I'm okay with my life. "I like my life; I like my friends; I like my stuff." But what I don't like is feeling like I shouldn't.

So instead of worrying:

I decided that I'm just going to embrace it. {Since apparently, this is what the entire (population of 21-year-olds in the) world thinks already.}

spinster (n) : a woman who is not married, especially a woman who is no longer young and seems unlikely ever to marry.

And since I'd be quoting this anyway if I were telling this story (to Megan) in real life:

#1-

JANET: Yeah, why don't you go sit all alone in your room so you can start getting used to how the rest of your life's gonna be.
PARIS: I'm not alone.
JANET: Oh, really? Who do you have besides your poster of Noam Chomsky?
PARIS: Who do I have?
JANET: Yeah. [Paris begins to speak but falls silent.] That's what I thought. Very sad.

#2-

AT LORELAI'S HOUSE [Lorelai walks downstairs and opens the front door to pick up the newspaper. A cat is sitting on the porch. Lorelai goes to the phone and dials.]

RORY: Hello?

LORELAI: They know.

RORY:Who knows?

LORELAI: The cats -- they know that I've broken up with Jason and that I'm alone and they've decided it's time for me to become a crazy cat lady.

RORY: What are you talking about?

LORELAI: There's a cat on my doorstep.

RORY: Well, that's better than a bun in your oven.

LORELAI: It's just sitting there, staring at me, like he knew this moment was coming. It's still there. Why is it still there?
RORY: Mom, it's a stray. It's passing through. It's hanging out. Relax. Move away from the window and go back to bed.

LORELAI: It's not fair. We just broke up. It just happened. I'm still young. It's still possible that I'm gonna have a successful relationship. You don't know. My eggs are still viable.

RORY: Are you yelling at me or the cat?

LORELAI: The cat. I think he flipped me off with his tail. I'm Babette.

RORY: Babette's not single.

LORELAI: Whose side are you on? Circle the wagons.

RORY: Sorry.

LORELAI: Everyone knows. They can see it in my face. "She's single again. She couldn't make it work again. She picked the wrong guy again." [to cat] Hey, do not lick yourself in front of me.

RORY: Mom, I need you to get a grip. You're tired, you're stressed out, and you're not seeing things clearly.

LORELAI: Oh, my God!

RORY: What?

LORELAI: There are two of them. They're not even easing me into this, those bastards. I give up. I guess I need to start collecting newspapers and magazines, find a blue bathrobe, lose my front teeth.

RORY: Well, obviously, you've got a busy day ahead of you, so I'm gonna let you go.

LORELAI: Yarn balls. I need to find some yarn balls.

RORY: Bye.

[Lorelai opens the front door.]

LORELAI: [to cats] Hey, I am a young, desirable woman.

So guys, I guess the time has come. I think I'll wait until my great summer is over (one last youthful hurrah), and then I'll get started on operation SFL: Spinster for Life. Here's the plan:

1-Throw out all my clothes. Go to the DI and stock up on muumuus and bathrobes. Too-big-at-the-top jeans and a few holiday sweaters should be good for my new lifestyle. Throw out all my shoes; buy another pair of slippers.

2-Get a haircut. A hideously unflattering, really short haircut. Buy some curlers. Start experimenting.

3-Buy a cat. And a cat friend for that cat. And one more cat, just for the heck of it. Hopefully my roommates won't mind. Or better yet, I'll get my own {one-bedroom attic} apartment. Or better yet, move back in with the parents.

4-Stop wearing makeup. This one's going to be a bit of a challenge for me, but I think I can do it.

5-Look up a few tutorials on knitting and crocheting. Buy some yarn and needles. Get to work.

6-Stop going to school, exercising, or anything that would be considered "bettering" myself. None of that.

So, yeah. Come my 26th birthday, I should be well on my way to my new life as a full-blown spinster. Let me know if you have any other ideas for me!