Thanks for those excellent genes.

I'll admit, I'm not always the most grateful child, but yesterday I was hit with a load of gratitude to my parents for just simply being my parents. Yesterday was their 33rd anniversary, and I just took a few moments to think about how happy I am for the fact that they got married, for the wonderful way their genes mixed (thanks for not having ugly kids!), for how hard they work for our family, and that they didn't stop with me. 

What would I do without these two?

 One thing's for sure: I would laugh a whole lot less. And I would definitely not be as smart. Gavin is so smart that he's been helping me do my homework all week. 

 They are two of the funniest people on earth, and even though I walked in today to find them SLEEPING at one thirty in the afternoon, 

 I could not love them more. They really are my best friends. 

 huuuugs!

 So, thanks, mom and dad. For everything. 

I've been saving this for a special occasion...

Somehow, it just seems appropriate today.

I'm going to sleep now. We'll see if I decide to wake up in the morning.

You are dead to me.

Have my posts been a lot more depressing since I've returned home from France? Hmm. 

Maybe it's because I've been thrust back into this world we call academia. Along with the world we call  work. Kill me. I realize that there are people who are busier than me. Obviously. But all I can say is that this is the busiest I've been for . . . a really long time. Here's a little list of what's taking up most of my time these days:

1. The commute. A solid 2 hours of my life every day, gone. Wasted. Just like that. Next week, I am getting a bus pass. Seriously. 

2. I would say my classes, but let's be honest, I'm doing the bare minimum of homework here. (WHY am I so busy then?! Maybe it's because I can feel myself slipping farther and farther behind. . . This semester is going to do wonders for my GPA, I can just tell.) Oh yeah, and remember all that schoolwork that I should've done in France? It's due next week. Ask me how much I've done. Go ahead, I dare you.

3. My editing capstone class, AKA Stowaway Magazine. Basically for this class, we publish a travel magazine in one semester. From start to finish. From brainstorming ideas to writing the articles to designing the layout. We do it all. We're currently in the "writing articles" stage. I have three to write. Due on Tuesday. My goal for today: write one of them. Fail.

 

4. Work. Oh, and the other work. It's a dang good thing that the two things that I feel more confident about in my life (in the sense that I know that a certain Someone up above wants me there) are my jobs. And it's also a good thing that there are only two of them.

5. Cooking. Remember when I could just eat fast food? Man, that was so much faster. And foodier. Just kidding. I'm seriously loving this no-sugar, no-dairy thing. I should have done it years ago. In case you're wondering about how that's going, it's going well. I'm super thirsty all the time, but I literally have no cravings for sugar at all (yes, this includes chocolate which totally blows my mind but it's true). I have also lost about ten pounds (if you're counting my morning weight. Bless you, morning weight). 

However, amidst all of this business--sorry--busy-ness, I still find time to procrastinate. It's really a finely honed skill, and I just hate seeing it go to waste. I really have no choice in the matter. 

Oh, so back to the title of my blog post tonight (mostly an inside joke with my sister, as most things on my blog are). 

So I went on a date last week. It was fun. One of my best friends (one of the last few remaining single friends I still have) went on a date the same night. I'm wondering if I'll ever see the boy again; she's deciding on a wedding color palette. 

Okay, maybe I'm exaggerating a little bit, but not much. I guess that old adage has some truth to it, that "when it's right, it's right," but all it means to me right now is that I need to start making some new friends. Or just stop making friends all together. Yeah. That might be a better bet. 

So here's to my busiest fall semester on record. May it be filled with editing travel magazine articles, drinking green smoothies, staying up way too late, and laughing hysterically at my own stupidity with my little brother. 

What more do I need in life, really?

on love.

Can I just hate on love for a minute? 

To quote a great Adam Sandler movie, 

"Love stinks!"

In fact, why not just put the whole dang song in here?

"Cindy and Scott are newlyweds.

Woopideedoo!

He loves her, but she loves this guy right here.

And he loves somebody else.

You just can't win.

And so it goes until the day you die. 

This thing they call love is gonna make you cry.

(I hate you)

I've had the blues, the reds and the pinks,

One thing's for sure:

love stinks?

LOVE STINKS!

yeah, yeah.

Love stinks!"

etc, etc, etc

I was in love once. 

Or rather, I fell in love once. I make the distinction because that love, even when it's no longer, shall we say, active, lingers on. I don't think it's the kind of thing you can recover from. That kind of love isn't something that can flit in and out of your life as easily as a new hairstyle or a shade of nail polish. No, that love is more like a stray cat that sits by your kitchen window every day, waiting ever so patiently, watching ever so carefully, and hoping ever so sincerely that you'll notice and take pity on it and give it something to eat. That love is like a pair of eyes in a creepy old painting that are always following you, watching your every move, never fully relinquishing you from its all-seeing gaze. You are never free. For some certain, few lucky people, new love comes along and heals their hearts and gives them a way to move on and get over that other love. For others of us, it's still there. Festering. Hurting. Holding on to every last memory and every last aspect of your life that it can get its greedy hands on. It's so smart and sneaky, knowing when to show up at just the right moment to ruin your entire day. It feeds off of your insecurity and self-doubt and hopelessness until you are nothing more than a pile of thrown-aside laundry, lying there so unassumingly and yet so overwhelmingly present.

And it STINKS.

Love does, that is. Not you-as-the-dirty-pile-of-laundry. Just to clarify. 

Is that really love?, I often ask myself. Because if so, it stinks. It really does. (To quote my 4-year-old nephew, "It just sucks!") And it hurts. And sometimes, I'm just tired of hurting. Not trying to get emo here or anything, but it's painful. Life's kinda painful all around, but some moments are just so much more acutely so. Like a vice around your heart, squeezing and squishing until you are left with nothing but a mushy mess of blood and whatever else hearts are made out of.

What are other people's opinions on love? Similar, my friend. Very similar:

"Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn't it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses, you build up a whole suit of armor, so that nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life . . . You give them a piece of you. They didn't ask for it. They did something dumb one day, like kiss you or smile at you, and then your life isn't your own anymore. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so simple a phrase like 'maybe we should be just friends' turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It's a soul-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain. I hate love."

-Neil Gaiman

I think my soul hurts today. It just hurts.

"To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything, and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give your heart to no one, not even to an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements; lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket-safe, dark, motionless, airless--it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable."

-C.S. Lewis

So not even my crazy-cat-lady/bunny-back-up plan is going to work, then? Is that what you're telling me?

{Oh, by the way, right after I wrote this, I read Alma 12 (see especially verse 37!) and just thought. Dangit. That plan is not going to work. Sorry, Mr. Lewis}

-the mom on P.S. I Love You

Except that I never feel like we're all together in that. Isn't that the point?

Anyway. Just thought I'd share. Sometimes I really hate love. 

Personal triumph

I bought it.

I opened up the package.

I cooked it.

All firsts for me. 

In case you didn't know, raw meat (especially chicken) grosses me out more than quite possibly anything else in the world. I think even worse than blood, worms, yogurt, etc. (Yes I'm a freak). But today, I was just hungry enough to do it. Now I don't think I'll actually be touching raw meat anytime in the near future, but I may have overcome this one obstacle in my life. 

Mindy=1, chicken=0

Saying goodbye's the hardest part

Over the weekend, I had a conversation with a few girls I work with. One of them recently had a baby and is still trying to lose that baby weight. Since we all only work there at the end of the month, we made a goal together that we would lose ten pounds by the end of next month. This is where another lady chimed in with a suggestion to go off sugar. I thought, "why not?" And thus began my new lifestyle . . . (really?!)

I think I've mentioned this, but I've been feeling very apathetic about a lot of things lately. I feel almost indifferent at the thought of never having sugar again. Whatev!

At the same time, I have been thinking about visiting a dermatologist about this mess that my face has been in. Let's just say, France was not kind to my skin! My mom brought up the idea that I could be allergic to dairy products. I have definitely known for a while now that I am lactose sensitive (chocolate milk is my favorite self-torture), but I never thought that dairy products could cause allergic reactions to the skin. And while in France, I sure ate a lot of dairy products. Not my fault that they are pros! Ice cream, cheese, cheese, more ice cream, butter, etc., etc., etc. You get the idea. I can say for certain that there was not a day that I did not eat dairy. Anyhow, my mom thought it might be a good idea to stop it with dairy for a while and see if that doesn't help this whole skin situation. We'll see. 

Au revoir, la glace! (obviously a double no-no)

So there you go. In a matter of days, I decided to make quite a drastic lifestyle change. I'm feeling really good about this, though, and I'll tell you why:

1. Remember that whole word of wisdom thing? For the past few years, I have been thinking about how I honest-to-goodness haven't been following it as I should. Granted, I have never drank coffee, tea, alcohol, and never smoked anything in my life (unless you count all that second-hand smoke in France!), but I have not been eating grains, fruits, and veggies like I ought to. And if I want to be a recipient of those wonderful blessings, I need to change something.

Let me pause for a second here to say something: I don't think that everyone needs to make such a drastic change in eating to be obedient to the word of wisdom. One of my friends and I often talk about "personal commandments." I feel like this is one of mine right now--and not even specifically this, just the idea of eating healthier and trying to master this body of mine.

2. Cooking? This has been one major downfall of being single for me. It's not just an excuse for me--I honestly have no desire in me to spend time in the kitchen when I could eat something quick that tastes just as good. I'm hoping that this experience will force me to learn a few things about cooking. Haha, we'll see!

3. Discovering new foods. The are a honking lot of vegetables out there. Maybe one day I will try them all. Until then, I will continue spending a whole lot of time in Winco.


So if anyone has any good sugar-free, dairy-free recipes, feel free to pass them along!!

If this be the desire of your hearts

 Last week, my oldest niece turned eight. The big a-of-a (if you get that, I'll give you a million bucks!).

Her mom was planning on throwing her one heck of a surprise party, but she needed a decoy. Enter me. I took Jayna out to dinner at Winger's to get her out of the house while all the guests arrived, and to discuss her imminent entrance into a few pretty important promises with Heavenly Father. 

We had a great discussion about the importance of baptism. In the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, one can be baptized at the age of eight, so eight is a pretty big deal for us. We talked about what we promise during baptism: to obey all of the commandments (including such things as going to church, reading scriptures, praying, being nice and serving others, repenting, etc.), to try to follow Jesus Christ and to always remember Him. In exchange, Heavenly Father promises that He will bless us and forgive us and give us the gift of His spirit to lead and guide us throughout our lives.  

 Being baptized also means that you become a member of the Church. Officially. Jayna shared her sweet little testimony with me about how she just knows that this Church is true. 

And we ate some great asphalt pie. 

 Jayna was duly surprised when we got to her house, so the party was a success.

Then yesterday was the big day. Baptism day! 

Megan and I were worried that we weren't looking like each other anymore . . .  we decided that it's just because I looked like I was from the 50s, she from the 60s, and then there was also Gavin, from the 70s. Don't know how that worked out! 

The baptism was so sweet! My dad gave a wonderful talk about baptism, mentioning a few of the other promises we make (Mosiah 18:8-10). And of course, Jayna looked beautiful in both of her baptism dresses!

 Don't know how we always manage to match. And Lisa's wearing heals in this picture. Promise I'm not that short. Love that little bumbo baby (sorry, Lis, you said that once and it just kind of stuck in my head). 

My favorite of all days.

That's right. New lip gloss day. There's nothing better. 

And yes, they changed the look of my signature lip gloss, but don't you worry--it's still the same.