Yesterday I attended a funeral. It was a beautiful, hilarious, and heartfelt tribute to a life that ended heartbreakingly too soon. (Truly, only the Fullmers could keep the audience in tears of laughter during an entire two-hour funeral.) It also got me thinking. As I chatted with some friends afterward, it really hit me: we all have trials. We all sin and have things that we struggle with, sometimes over our entire lifetime (or for what sometimes seems like a lifetime). But no matter our weaknesses, our imperfections, or even our sins, they are not what define us. It's how you choose to spend your time every day, the way you treat other people, the relationships you cultivate, and the amount of heart you put into things that really make you who you are. That's what makes your life.
That thought is both reassuring and worrisome to me. I'm relieved that, if those who know me are as gracious as I hope, my sins and weaknesses won't be what they think of when they think of me. But if that's the case, and those things don't define me, then what exactly does? I know that I have a long way to go in being the kind, thoughtful, big-hearted person that I'd love to be. So I'm going to take what was said at this funeral yesterday and use it as my motivation to choose what defines me, to choose what people will think of when they think of me.
Incidentally, the word I chose for 2015 is choose. And as sad and tragic as the loss was which led to that funeral, I'm grateful for the perspective it gave me. I'm going to choose every day this year to be kinder, to show a little more heart, and to choose to love. Because in the end, that will be the only thing that matters about your life. (This scripture comes to mind.) Maybe the biggest difference between that amazing life that was lost last week and my own is that his was effortlessly full of heart, and mine is going to be a fairly uphill battle to love and serve those around me. We're all given different gifts in life, and although I regret that that is not naturally one of mine, I'm so grateful for those I do have, but more than that, I'm grateful for the Atonement of Jesus Christ that allows me not only to work on getting rid of those sins and struggles I have, but also to choose to be more like Him and possess more of His love.
So here's to amazing people who inspire me with their hearts, to the opportunity to live better every day, and to choosing what defines me.
RIP Kade
