A wonderful wedding

So about a year and a half ago, at Thanksgiving, my aunt told me a secret: she had signed up for an online dating site. After having been divorced for 30+ years, she was more than ready and more than a little nervous to begin the journey to finding someone with whom she could spend eternity. I was thrilled for her and excited to be her confidant in the sometimes-scary world of online dating. I had been considering that bold move myself, and together my aunt and I had a few good discussions about why this was going to be a good thing—no matter what, we told ourselves. It would be healthy and useful to get to know different people and to work on developing relationships. 

Fast forward to a few months ago, and while I've been on this roller coaster of dating craziness (which ultimately ended in my getting off online dating {minus Tinder, of course}), and I'm happy to say that my aunt found her perfect match. So it was with tears of happiness that we welcomed her new husband into our family a few weeks ago. 

My aunt just so happens to be pretty good friends with one Elder and Sister Oaks, so he performed their marriage ceremony in the Salt Lake Temple. It was so sweet. I knew that I couldn't remember everything he said, but I did make a strong mental note of two things he said prior to the official ceremony. He talked about how we choose marriage partners for their similarities as well as for their differences. I loved that idea. Obviously everyone is going to have differences, but I know that for me, I don't want someone who is exactly the same as me. I already have one of me. I just love that idea of choosing someone for their differences as much as for their similarities. 

The other thing he said that really struck me was this: he said to the soon-to-be-wed couple that in a few minutes he was going to pronounce them husband and wife, but no one can pronounce happiness or kindness or gentleness or selflessness or any of the other things that are required to make a marriage work. Those are things that you have to work at every day and learn to develop within a relationship. I just thought that was a sweet idea.

And so of course I bawled through the whole thing. It's me. But I loved Aunt Linda's reminder to "never, never, never, never give up." The fact that she found someone so great for her is proof that the Lord is always watching over us and that He can do anything. 

Here are just a few of my favorite pics from the big day:

The happy, happy couple.

My parents and quite possibly the funniest aunt-and-uncle duo ever.

Brother and sis-in-law with a photobombing cousin.

Aunt Linda with her kids and their kiddos. Love those matching blue ties, and their wearers.

Cute cousins!

Me and the sibs.

 Just brunching with "Dallin," as he introduced himself as.

Corner-of-the-temple selfie.

Beards much?

Sibling selfie, minus a few.

The temple on a perfect day!

This little guy. My heart.

So here's to never giving up. Here's to getting outside your comfort zone and trying new things to meet new people. And here's to eternity! So happy for you, Ron and Linda!

Matching faces... and really nice jackets

It's so interesting to me to find out what things people find important in looking for a match. (By the way, I've taken to using the word "match" a lot when talking about dating, largely based on a story one of my coworkers told me about her 9-year-old nephew who went to school on the first day and came home lamenting that, in the girl department, "there were no matches!" Classic.) Granted, I'm taking all of my data from a few close friends, but still. Their opinions are varied enough that it makes me laugh.

Obviously, we all want someone who shares our beliefs and values (which can be surprisingly varied, considering the fact that we all date people from our own religion. Still, discrepancies about levels of dedication and conviction are more than I would have thought). We all want someone who's about on even grounds with us as far as education and intelligence go. We all want someone with whom we get along well and who makes us laugh (genuinely laugh. I'm not talking my pity laugh here, although the range of what I can find humorous does stretch pretty far).

But as far as the nitpicky things, sometimes our stipulations just make me laugh. For example, I am not someone who thinks that I have to have a gazillion things in common with a potential match. Basically if our senses of humor match up, I think we can have a good time no matter what we're doing. Plus I always like to try new things. But I've noticed other friends who thrive on knowing that they and their love interests like the same music, the same sports, and the same TV shows. Again, as long as we're genuinely laughing (and not laughing) at the same things, I'm good.

I laughed at another conversation I had with a friend. She knows my physical preferences as far as guys go (don't worry, I'll get to that), and she mentioned that looks aren't really as important to her—what she really likes is someone who has a "matching style" to hers. And, she added, "really nice jackets." Haha! But, I mean, seriously. I've seen Grease, Indiana Jones, and X-Men. I get the really nice jackets thing. I just never would have given it any thought as it pertains to finding a match.

       

No, my thing is matching faces.

If you know me, you probably already know this. I still can't decide if it's narcissism or insecurity that leads me to prefer guys who have my same or similar hair color, eye color, face shape, and general physique. Sometimes there'll be a blond-haired, blue-eyed, on-the-skinny-side guy who shows interest in me, and that just completely baffles me. Doesn't he see that I'm a brown-eyed, brown-haired, not-tiny girl? I genuinely don't understand how such a complete opposite could be interested. My coworkers have taken to mocking me for this tendency of mine: "So basically, you just want to marry your brother?" (No. First of all, my brothers don't really even look that much like me. Secondly, no.) I tried to explain this from my own, seemingly logical, point of view:

Like most people, I'm sure, there are certain of my physical features that I'm more self-conscious about than others. And I want someone who is going to complement and not clash with me. I don't want to be stuck for the rest of my life with someone whose thin nose makes mine look huge, whose skinny face makes mine look chubby, whose eye color doesn't go with mine (or more importantly, won't produce little brown-eyed babies. I'm just thinking of my posterity, here). I just want us to look good together. ... right? Am I insane? Does this logic make sense to anyone else? I know you've all seen those couples where one person is normal-to-good looking, but then seeing them with their significant other brings out their weirdness in their features. No? Am I the only one noticing? But then there are those people who you think, "meh, you're okay-looking," but then seeing them with their significant other makes them so much better looking. You haven't noticed? Well I have.

So regardless of the fact that there are cute matchy couples out there (though, admittedly, there is a fine line between matchy and confusion as to whether a couple really are siblings) and my desire to one day be counted among them, this article was pretty effective in shooting down all of my hopes for that. And really, I do look for more than just a nice face, but this article made the argument that I should be looking for only one thing:

"agreeableness."

Yep. So. There's that. I am struggling with this. I mean, is it so impossible to think that I might find a nice guy who also has a face that matches mine? Is that really too much to ask for, or am I really just insanely too picky? Another question for the void, I suppose. Unless of course you have an opinion you'd like to share! Feel free. :)