A sunny Sunday

I meant to write this post last Sunday, I really did. Somehow a nap got in the way. But I think from now on, I'm going to try to write a post every Sunday, citing a talk from general conference, mostly as a way for me to keep up on that whole modern revelation thing. You know. 

So here we are, in the dead of Utah winter. It's been brutal. We went several days last week, if I recall correctly, without seeing the sun. What is this--Alaska? Throughout this gloomy winter, I have been feeling a kind of gloom settle into my soul as well. I could probably list off the reasons for my feeling that way, but I'll spare you. Suffice it to say, it's been one bummer of a winter, and I haven't been feeling much of anything lately, if you know what I mean (do you know what I mean? I mean, like, my spiritual sensitivity was pretty low there for a while, and I was not really feeling the Spirit on a daily basis.). 

However, last weekend, I started to feel a change. I was sitting in my room, minding my own business, when suddenly, I felt something. I made that confused look to myself, like, what is this? And then it hit me: it was the Spirit. I spent all weekend enveloped by the warmth in my heart that I knew was coming from Heavenly Father. 

And then Sunday came, and I didn't think that it was a coincidence that the sky was finally visible (and so blue!) and that the sun was shining, because it seemed like it was a reflection of what was going on within me. Deep, huh? So it was a wonderful Sunday. I felt the Spirit throughout all of my Church meetings. The Relief Society lesson was about President Uchtdorf's talk, "Of Regrets and Resolutions," and we watched the Mormon Message about it, which is so good. If you don't want to watch it or read the talk (which, you should, so just do), it's basically about this guy who saves up forever to go on a cruise, and then spends the whole time in his room, eating the canned beans he brought with him, only to find out on the last day that all the activities and the food on the ship was included in the price he had already paid. 

There are so many lessons that we can learn from this little story, and much like the comparison that President Uchtdorf made about living beneath our potential, it got me thinking about how much we can (and probably do) under-utilize the Atonement. I sometimes think that we punish ourselves unnecessarily or too harshly for our mistakes and sins. Of course, sin is not something to be taken lightly, but sincere repentance means that we accept that Christ has taken upon Him our sins. We need only accept Him and promise to do better, try harder, and become more like Him. 

I think we--I say we, but really I mean I--think that sometimes we deserve to be unhappy and miserable because of our imperfections or mistakes. But I can just imagine Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ looking sadly at us, much like we look sadly upon that man on the cruise ship eating his canned beans, because they know that we don't have to be unhappy. By self-imposing that punition, we are limiting the saving, healing, cleansing, renewing sacrifice of our Savior. We all sin (and come short of the glory of God), but that doesn't mean that the price for our sins, and I would say, in a different sense, the price for our happiness hasn't already been paid. Because it has. 

Okay, sorry, but the talk I wanted to mention here wasn't President Uchtdorf's--it was Elder Wirthlin's "Sunday Will Come." This was the talk that was stuck in my head on Sunday, as I felt the Spirit with me all day. It's interesting, because the talk is about the resurrection. Elder Wirthlin talks about all of his loved ones that have passed on, and how the resurrection of Christ on that third day--Easter Sunday--gives us hope to be reunited with our family and friends in the eternities. Well, fortunately, I don't really have anyone close to me who has died. But I have often felt separated from Heavenly Father because of my sins and weaknesses. The blackest of Fridays sometimes make a home in my soul, leaving no room for hope in the Atonement and no room for that blessed "Sunday" of forgiveness and renewal. 

(different Black Friday)

"Each of us will have our own Fridays--those days when the universe itself seems shattered and the shards of our world lie littered about us in pieces. We all will experience those broken times when it seems we can never be put together again. We will all have our Fridays."

But last Sunday, I just felt like someone (or, Someone?) was saying to me, "Sunday Has Come." 

How sweet it was. 

"I testify to you in the name of the One who conquered death (mindy again--may I add to this, "and sin")--Sunday will come. In the darkness of our sorrow, Sunday will come. No matter our desperation, no matter our grief, Sunday will come. . . . 

"On that day we will know the love of our Heavenly Father. On that day we will rejoice that the Messiah overcame all that we could live forever" (italics added). 

So here's to many more sunny Sundays to come, no matter the weather. Or the day.