A sunny Sunday

I meant to write this post last Sunday, I really did. Somehow a nap got in the way. But I think from now on, I'm going to try to write a post every Sunday, citing a talk from general conference, mostly as a way for me to keep up on that whole modern revelation thing. You know. 

So here we are, in the dead of Utah winter. It's been brutal. We went several days last week, if I recall correctly, without seeing the sun. What is this--Alaska? Throughout this gloomy winter, I have been feeling a kind of gloom settle into my soul as well. I could probably list off the reasons for my feeling that way, but I'll spare you. Suffice it to say, it's been one bummer of a winter, and I haven't been feeling much of anything lately, if you know what I mean (do you know what I mean? I mean, like, my spiritual sensitivity was pretty low there for a while, and I was not really feeling the Spirit on a daily basis.). 

However, last weekend, I started to feel a change. I was sitting in my room, minding my own business, when suddenly, I felt something. I made that confused look to myself, like, what is this? And then it hit me: it was the Spirit. I spent all weekend enveloped by the warmth in my heart that I knew was coming from Heavenly Father. 

And then Sunday came, and I didn't think that it was a coincidence that the sky was finally visible (and so blue!) and that the sun was shining, because it seemed like it was a reflection of what was going on within me. Deep, huh? So it was a wonderful Sunday. I felt the Spirit throughout all of my Church meetings. The Relief Society lesson was about President Uchtdorf's talk, "Of Regrets and Resolutions," and we watched the Mormon Message about it, which is so good. If you don't want to watch it or read the talk (which, you should, so just do), it's basically about this guy who saves up forever to go on a cruise, and then spends the whole time in his room, eating the canned beans he brought with him, only to find out on the last day that all the activities and the food on the ship was included in the price he had already paid. 

There are so many lessons that we can learn from this little story, and much like the comparison that President Uchtdorf made about living beneath our potential, it got me thinking about how much we can (and probably do) under-utilize the Atonement. I sometimes think that we punish ourselves unnecessarily or too harshly for our mistakes and sins. Of course, sin is not something to be taken lightly, but sincere repentance means that we accept that Christ has taken upon Him our sins. We need only accept Him and promise to do better, try harder, and become more like Him. 

I think we--I say we, but really I mean I--think that sometimes we deserve to be unhappy and miserable because of our imperfections or mistakes. But I can just imagine Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ looking sadly at us, much like we look sadly upon that man on the cruise ship eating his canned beans, because they know that we don't have to be unhappy. By self-imposing that punition, we are limiting the saving, healing, cleansing, renewing sacrifice of our Savior. We all sin (and come short of the glory of God), but that doesn't mean that the price for our sins, and I would say, in a different sense, the price for our happiness hasn't already been paid. Because it has. 

Okay, sorry, but the talk I wanted to mention here wasn't President Uchtdorf's--it was Elder Wirthlin's "Sunday Will Come." This was the talk that was stuck in my head on Sunday, as I felt the Spirit with me all day. It's interesting, because the talk is about the resurrection. Elder Wirthlin talks about all of his loved ones that have passed on, and how the resurrection of Christ on that third day--Easter Sunday--gives us hope to be reunited with our family and friends in the eternities. Well, fortunately, I don't really have anyone close to me who has died. But I have often felt separated from Heavenly Father because of my sins and weaknesses. The blackest of Fridays sometimes make a home in my soul, leaving no room for hope in the Atonement and no room for that blessed "Sunday" of forgiveness and renewal. 

(different Black Friday)

"Each of us will have our own Fridays--those days when the universe itself seems shattered and the shards of our world lie littered about us in pieces. We all will experience those broken times when it seems we can never be put together again. We will all have our Fridays."

But last Sunday, I just felt like someone (or, Someone?) was saying to me, "Sunday Has Come." 

How sweet it was. 

"I testify to you in the name of the One who conquered death (mindy again--may I add to this, "and sin")--Sunday will come. In the darkness of our sorrow, Sunday will come. No matter our desperation, no matter our grief, Sunday will come. . . . 

"On that day we will know the love of our Heavenly Father. On that day we will rejoice that the Messiah overcame all that we could live forever" (italics added). 

So here's to many more sunny Sundays to come, no matter the weather. Or the day.

invincible

So . . . winter, eh? Remember last winter, when it was nice all the time and I could still ride my bike to school every single day? Ah . . . Those were the days. This winter sucks. seriously. I hate being cold all the time, and that's what this winter seems determined to do. So in an attempt to combat the cold, I decided that I needed to take winter seriously this year, starting with these babies:

Thanks to Lisa, via Megan, for these indestructible winter boots. I'm just lucky that they didn't fit either of them. Basically, these boots make me feel completely invincible. Like an oh-you-want-to-go-camping-in-the-snowy-woods-for-three-days?-let-me-grab-my-boots kind of invincible. Bring it on, winter. 

that day it was raining ice

I just loved everything about today. Maybe it was something about the novelty of ice rain, or just the fun of watching people fall down all day, but I was just in a good mood today. A few highlights:

When we got off the front runner only to see that there were no busses waiting (meaning we'd have to stand out in the ice rain), my friend Lynzi yells out, "Curse you, public transportation!" And then, to the two UTA employees who overheard, "Not you guys--you're doing a great job." Made me laugh all day.

I went to a meeting about an internship I'm applying for... Let's not jinx it, but wish me luck!

My class got out early exactly when I needed it to so that I could get ready for the interviews I had for work... 

I'm writing an article about BYU's production of The Phantom of the Opera (which was seriously incredible. If you're a student and haven't seen it yet, go get rush tickets. GO! Now!), so I've been talking to all these different people about it, and today I interviewed one of the costume designers, the hair & makeup designer, and two of the leads (the Phantom and Raoul). Cool backstage stuff :)

I came home to broccoli cheese soup, exactly what I'd wanted to eat for dinner all day. 

Plus videos like this just make me happy that today happened. 

the bright side

So, yes, the commute is the new bane of my existence, thanks to UTA. And yes, I hate winter more than anything else ever. I'm trying to adjust to just being perpetually cold and having to walk 30-60 minutes a day to and from work. However, I told myself that I was going to try to stop being such a pessimist this year. In an attempt to do that, here's a little about the cool classes I'm taking this semester.  

My ELang capstone class: "Textual Criticism of the Book of Mormon." Yeah, this is BYU, and I love it. Basically my professor has been researching the earliest text of the Book of Mormon for like several decades. It's so hysterical because it's obviously something he's really passionate about, but he is so monotone and unemotional about it, and it cracks me up. 

I have the same professor for my last ELang elective: history of the book. It's going to be great. It's twice a week, and one of those days is just a field trip, where we'll visit BYU's special collections, the Crandall printing museum in Provo (which has the only fully working authentic Gutenberg Press in the world. Is that cool or what?), and this guy who makes his own paper. Stay tuned for adventures in paper making.  

I love that my professor is a huge pessimist. I love that he only refers to the book as a "codex." Pretty much everything he says cracks me up. If I had to choose a group of people to be stuck in some underground hideout with during the apocalypse, he would definitely be on the list. He's just the perfect pessimist. I also love the fact that he reminds me a little bit of this guy: 

On to my French class, studies in period, movement, genre . . . or something. It is being team taught by the two funniest professors in the French department. I can't even handle it for how funny it is. We are reading Notre-Dame de Paris (The Hunchback of Notre Dame), Liaisons dangereuses, and Madame Bovary. Oh, and did I mention how one of the professors is a specialist of 19th century France and Monsieur Hugo himself?

So, yeah. I think it's going to be a pretty good semester . . . minus the commute and the cold. 

brick oven new cal reunions

We (former New Cal missionaries) love when the Mautzes come to town! Mostly because we love them so much, but also because they take us all out to dinner so we can see and catch up with everyone.

Somehow we didn't end up taking a group picture this time (I think the group is getting too big!), but here's (mostly) everyone:

It was fun to see one of the young women from New Caledonia as well! And our mission president and his wife were able to make it too. So fun!

Was there ever a group of missionaries that loved each other as much as we do? I don't think so.

have I mentioned how much I hate the snow?

the pros and cons of frontrunner:

cons
-it's always late (forcing you to wait in the snow), except when the shuttle bus is late getting there. then it's on time (causing you to miss it and thus forcing you to wait in the snow).
-they made the provo station a convenient 25-minute bus ride from school.
-it takes the same amount of time to get to school from sojo as the express bus took, except now the commute includes switching from tram to bus (in the freezing cold and snow). that is, if the bus is still there.
-no heat? they do realize it's the dead of winter, right?

pros
-it runs later at night (meaning that when the shuttle makes you miss it, it will be even colder while you have to wait).

good going, UTA. not.

*noise that the gremlins make as they change into gremlins*

Nothing like being humbled by a 16th century French author.

I am relieved to report that my French Renaissance prose class is going slightly better than it was at the offset. We have moved on from the scandal-loving Rabelais, and I'm not having to skim over semi-pornographic passages and I don't fear looking up the meaning of words anymore. Not only that, but this last reading that we did was actually quite inspirational.  

Lady Oisille:

"My children, what you ask of me, to find what would undo human despair, is no easy task. I have spent my entire lifetime searching and have found but one solution--the reading of Holy Scriptures. There one finds true and perfect spiritual happiness, itself the basis for bodily repose and health. If you ask what, in all these years, has assured my joy and good health, I can tell you this. The moment I rise in the morning, I pick up the Scriptures and read. I meditate upon the goodness of our God, who for our sake sent his son on earth to bring us the holy word and the good news for the remisson of our sins and the payment of our debts. This he does through his gift to us of love, worthiness, and ultimate sacrifice. These thoughts fill me with such joy that I take my psalter and in great humility give enthusiastic voice to the wonderful hymns and canticles that the Holy Spirit inspired in David and the other psalmists. The happiness this brings me is so great that whatever the travails of the day, I see them as so many blessings. For through faith I have him in my heart who has taken these burdens upon himself for my sake. 

"Likewise before supper, I withdraw to take in some spiritual nourishment, to think of all that has transpired during the day, so that I might ask for God's forgiveness and give thanks for his many kindnesses. And thus I retire with my thoughts of his love, peace, and power, protected thus against all evil. And this, my children, after years of searching in vain for happiness in other places, is the activity I have chosen. I am of the opinion that if every morning you were to give one hour over to reading and to saying your prayers devoutly at Mass, you would find, even here in this barren place, the splendors of any city. For whoever knows God discovers beauty everywhere, and whoever does not finds all things ugly. 

And so I tell you, follow my counsel if you wish to live in joy."

So there you go. Now go read your scriptures!! ;)
But seriously. Oisille is supposed to be like the evangelist in the story, so she's always encouraging people to read the scriptures for themselves (the reformation... go figure), but I just love at the end there how she talks about taking time at the end of the day to think about what has gone on, ask God's forgiveness, and "give thanks for his many kindnesses." How wonderful would it be to go to bed every night with your thoughts centered around Heavenly Father's "love, peace, and power, protected thus against all evil." No wonder that's where she found happiness. I think I'll try this method, too. 

Holy Places

Spending too much time at my house is bad for me because I just start to think of all the decorating projects I could do if I had a house. But I don't have a house; I have a room. So my designing is limited to four sad little walls. Ah, to be a grown up. One day, maybe. 

Anyway, at church we are doing this thing where every month there's a different thing to work on. January is all about making holy places, whether it be in your room or your car or your workplace or wherever. So since I've been spending so much time in my room, I decided that would be a good place to start. Besides the fact that I have been trying to clean my room since I got home from France (four. months. ago.).

The theme for the year is "Stand in Holy Places," from the scripture D&C 87:8, which was the inspiration for my new wall.

Here is the before picture of the wall above my desk:

I love my safari poster, but it's been there long enough. 

I bought a whole bunch of frames from the DI...

 and even lucked out getting these really nice frames for only $8 for all three. Score!

I painted all the frames white, but the two roundish ones didn't really cooperate. On Saturday, I went out to get some more spray paint and thought that I would just go to Hobby Lobby and buy a round frame, but then I thought to go to a different DI, and what was waiting for me there but this little beauty of a frame: 

 It made me so happy :)

I also spent a few hours making up some posters for the wall. Of course I needed the scripture on there, so this is what I made:

Unfortunately, I forgot the measurements of my frame while I was making it, so I had to cut off the bottom (I'll fix it sometime and print out the whole thing so it fits). Still cute. 

Mapping out the wall:

Ta-da!! The finished wall.

I filled the frames with pictures of some of the temples I've been to. Pictured here are the Provo, Boston, Manti, Los Angeles, Logan, Nauvoo, St. George, Washington DC, and Fiji temples. 

No, these are not the exact words to the scripture, but they are the lyrics to a Chris Tomlin song (yes, again, I listen to the Christian station. don't judge) which I love. It's almost the scripture...  

The after of that cute frame I found. Love it.

I like this one. It's "endure to the end" in all four languages from my mission: English, French, Fijian, and Bislama. I did it because I love that the expression for "endure to the end" in Bislama is "stand up strong." Gotta love those pidgin languages.

I've also been spending hours trying to make my bookshelves cuter. I would have to say that I've succeeded. At least I think they're cute.  Now if I can keep this space clean, it may just work as my holy place.

So... any ideas for other "holy places"?