2013: year in review

Happy New Year, everyone! I hope your 2013 was as awesome as mine was. Here's to an amazing 2014! It's gonna take a lot to live up to last year though.

Voilà my year in review:

Pick me!

Last night I had a dream that I was sending out my résumé to guys on this online dating site... Troubling? A little bit. 

Obviously I've been doing too much of both of those. But this morning I realized that it's basically the same thing, and here's why:

Trying to convince potential husbands that I'd make a good wife. Uh... I'm cute? Strong testimony! So fun! And I'm out. (Is the lack of "I love cooking" tidbit on there that glaringly obvious?)

vs. 

Trying to convince potential employers that I'd make a good employee. Uh... I'm a hard worker? I can edit like nobody's business. And yeah... pick me? My résumé is pretty cute; I'm pretty much banking on that. (Although, again, it's lacking, in the HTML/marketing experience. Oh well.)

Both with subtle undertones of...

So, yeah. I'm to that exact point in my life where I need either a job or a husband. Preferably both. So if you have any leads on either front, let me know!

Because, you know, I'm a Mormon.

So I just updated my mormon.org profile. I figured it was about time, since I first created it when I had just returned home from my mission three years ago and basically nothing about my life is the same anymore. Except, you know, what I believe. 

So... yeah. Go ahead and click on my new "I'm a Mormon" button right there. Right. To the right. Right there. 

If by chance you aren't Mormon (otherwise known as a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints), you can check out what we believe at mormon.org (go figure, right?). And if you ARE a Mormon, you should go set up your "I'm a Mormon" profile! And if you are a Mormon and already have a profile, good job! :)

Good for my soul

The other day at work, my next-door desk neighbor and I were looking over an article about Moses (yes, this is what working at the Church magazines entails. It's awesome). We were both shocked to discover how much we didn't know about this snake staff-wielding, Red Sea-parting, burning bush-seeing prophet, like the fact that he fled Egypt after killing someone. What the heck? That wasn't in any movie I ever saw about Moses. I mean, I'm sure he had a good, Nephi-like reason for doing it that's not recorded in the scriptures, whatever. It's not shaking my testimony or anything, but I was stunned that I had never even heard of what seems like kind of a big detail, and I consider myself to be fairly scripturally literate. 

So naturally, I decided that it was high time to read the Old Testament. I have always thought of this as a relatively impossible task, and granted I'm only at the end of Genesis so I still have a long way to go, but I just feel that this daily reading has been so good for my soul.

From what I've read so far, the Old Testament seems to be largely about Jehovah keeping His promises—even (and especially) those crazy, how-on-earth-could-that-possibly-ever-happen promises. Which is good for me because I'm waiting on a couple of those.   

I've read most of these scriptures before, but stringing them all together like this just gives me more faith in the power of God's promises.  

Genesis 30:22, "and God remembered Rachel, and God hearkened to her."

Genesis 28:16, "and Jacob awakened out of his sleep and he said, Surely the Lord is in this place; and I knew it not."

Genesis 25:21, "And Isaac entreated the Lord for his wife, because she was barren: and the Lord was entreated of him, and Rebekah his wife conceived."

Genesis 21:2, 6, "For Sarah conceived, and bare Abraham a son in his old age, at the set time of which God had spoken to him (see Gen. 18:10, "And he said, I will certainly return unto thee according to the time of life; and lo, Sarah thy wife shall have a son."). 

". . . And Sarah said, God hath made me to laugh, so that all that hear will laugh with me."

Genesis 18:14, "Is any thing too hard for the Lord? 

At the time appointed I will return unto thee, according to the time of life, and Sarah shall have a son."

Genesis 15:6, "And he believed in the Lord; and he counted it to him for righteousness."

Love it!

What themes have you seen in the Old Testament? Let me know now before I get too far in and miss them all!

The most ironic picture of my life

Let's do a little throwback here, to a Halloween of yesteryear. It's 2006, and I am a sophomore in college, living with five of my very best friends in the world. I am also engaged, so naturally when my roommates and I make up our "marriage order prediction" list, I am number 1. Hence the picture. You can see here my painted pumpkin-bride. It's clear what was on my mind. I'm pretty sure it was my fiancé who took the picture even.

Seven years later, and this picture kind of haunts me. Only a few months after it was taken, my fiancé and I broke up, and my roommates systematically began getting engaged and married, one by one. And I had a horrible on-again-off-again with the ex-fiancé for years and years afterward. Yeah. Painful.

So here's the thing. When I was in high school (or really, I guess as soon as I started thinking about it), I always had this idea that whoever was prettiest and skinniest would get married first. So I was psyched to be the first one out of all my pretty, skinny roommates to tie the knot. 

Well, that knot was not to be, and for years afterward I thought, "well of course. Naturally! How could I be the first one to get married? I'm neither the prettiest nor the skinniest. I was doomed from the get-go."

I have since realized the ridiculousness of that train of thought. Logically I recognize that there are people less attractive and fatter than me who have successfully gotten married, but somehow it's still something I struggle with. Why else wouldn't I be married by now? (Sorry if this post is beginning to sound a lot like this one.)

Does anyone else feel like perfection is a prerequisite to marriage? Or is that just me? For far too long I've been listening to that voice that tells me that I'm just not good enough to be married. I'm learning, little by little, to not heed that voice. But it's hard. And I think of that picture and that pumpkin and how I never thought I would get married, so I was incredulous when it was happening and then had to revel in my self-fulfilled prophecy when it didn't work out. 

I so often have to pray, "help thou my unbelief," because honestly, I still just don't really believe that it's going to happen. How could it? I'll never be good enough, pretty enough, skinny enough--especially to satisfy someone who fits my picky qualifications. 

I just think there is something eternally ironic in that painted pumpkin of mine. Marriage: my ever-elusive attainment. Despite how much I think of that pumpkin and how it seems to mock me and feed my insecurities, I will keep reminding myself that for whatever reason, I needed to go through those experiences. And I will keep reminding myself what an awesome, way-better-than-if-I'd-have-gotten-married-then life I've had so far. So many experiences have made me never regret that it didn't work out. 

Hope has become my new mantra in the face of my unbelief, especially as other serious relationships have come about and also ended painfully. I will continue to place my hope in my Savior and my Father in Heaven, knowing that they will bring every good gift and blessing into my life; that they will guide my future as they have the past. And my past has included some freaking awesome things.

If only I hadn't ever painted that dang pumpkin.

Life Lessons, Courtesy of Candy Crush

So. Yeah. Just take this post at face value. Yes I am a Candy Crusher. I'm not even sure anymore if I feel the need to justify my penchant for playing this not-as-mindless-as-you-think game. Plus, I was playing bejeweled long before the Candy Crush revolution (yes, you read that right), so I feel like I'm good.

Ahem. Life lessons from Candy Crush. They are vast, let me tell you. I don't quite understand what it is about that game that turns my mind to pondering the complexities of life, but there it is, every single time. It's actually kind of distracting, to tell you the truth. Can't I just crush my candy in peace? Sadly, no. So with that said, here is my list of life lessons, courtesy of Candy Crush:

-Life is complicated. But you'll probably do a lot better in life if you plan your next moves and think things through carefully. Sometimes impulsiveness pays off, but more often than not, you have to plan for those five-in-a-row moments. 

-Sometimes you miss opportunities. And they are gone. And you should've looked more carefully at your options. And not been so hasty. And thought it through a bit better. 

-Sometimes things just fall into place and things go your way without your having done anything! How many levels have we all passed by virtue of luck? Most of them.

-You're going to fail. A lot. And life tells you,  very unapologetically and often enthusiastically, that you've failed. And that's just how it is.

-WHEN you fail,  you generally get the chance to try again.  

-Sometimes all you can do to advance in life is wait it out. Sometimes (like when you're trying to go to sleep at night and you're just waiting to run out of lives) having to wait isn't such a bad thing. Gives you some perspective.

-Sometimes the things that seem to be the best actually aren't. I will never fail to be disappointed that the wrapped candy switched with a striped one seems to crush more than a striped candy switched with a sprinkled one. I mean, what the heck?! 

-Sometimes when life seems to be going great, things come out of nowhere to mess things up (not bitter against the chocolate squares that take over the board. Not bitter). That's life. Things pop up that are stressful. You just have to keep your cool and handle issues one at a time. 

-There are always things to celebrate in life. If nothing else, celebrate the little victories. 

This is by no means an exhaustive list. I mean, I'm only on level 65, so how could it be? I anticipate many more life-affirming epiphanies on my sweet ride through the addictive adventure that is Candy Crush. 

Crush on! 

The internship of all internships

So my summer of US-lovin' finally came to an end. It was a bittersweet ending, though. After visiting 19 states in 3 months, I was ready to finally go home and sleep in my bed again. However, I do sometimes still wish I lived in a hotel. It's so convenient. But alas, life goes on. 

My next internship rivals my last on the cool factor. I'll have to hold off a final judgment until after this one is over, but so far, it's giving my zaggternship a run for its money. 

Say hello to my new place of work: The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints Office Building. It just happens to be the second tallest building in the whole state of Utah. 

I love getting to be on temple square every day! It's so great!

I am working as an editorial intern for the Church's magazine, the Ensign. So far it's awesome. I've been able to write quite a few articles that may or may not be published starting mid-to-late next year. Sometimes I do random little research projects, sometimes I edit or proofread articles. Lots of source checking. Ah, the life of an intern...

Here's a picture of my with a kitty that someone brought in. I could hear murmurings from all those allergic-to-cats people, and I felt sad for them. Here's one of the kitties trying his best to jump out of my hands. I won. :)

A few of the other interns and I went down for adopt-a-plant day. It only comes around once a month, so we had to take advantage. Here's Nichole with her new plant, Spike. I'm obsessed with it. 

So far as I know, Ryan hasn't named his plant yet. I'll double check though.

My  pretty plant. It looks pretty fake, I'll be honest. Name suggestions?

I have since ruled out any kind of future as a gardener....

I don't know what I did to it :(

Here is Nichole and I at our desks. Yes I'm wearing my lu'au outfit. It was the BYU/Utah game, and that skirt is one of the few BYU-blue items of clothing I own, so I kind of had to. Right? 

And here's my desk. So exciting, huh?

Granted, there are days when I feel a lot like this... 

Bored much?

But then there are the days when we go walk around the temple on our lunch break and have to ask elderly people to take pictures for us. And then we are late getting back from our lunch break. Haha.

I was oh-so-happy when someone kindly pointed out to me that this little board thing under my desk was, in fact, a heater. Who would disguise a heater to look like a random piece of wood? I ask you. 

So, there you go. A few little tidbits about my internship with the Ensign! 

Amish country

Let me just start by saying, I love pretty much everything about Philadelphia. Including this man:

Two words: Amish country! Is there anything better? I would say no. So one thing I love about traveling by myself is how people just think my life is so exciting. Which, I guess it really is, but whatev. I make a lot of new friends by being by myself, and it's great. For example, I went on this cute little buggy ride, but while I was waiting in line, I met a couple from Belgium! Yay French. Unfortunately, they didn't make it on the same buggy as me, but there was a cute family, an older couple, and two older women there. After an hour buggy ride together, one of the older women gave me her phone number and told me to call her if I was going to be in her area of North Carolina, and she'd show me around. So nice! I love seeing how much goodness there is in the world. People are the best. We did take a group shot from inside the buggy, but somehow that picture got deleted. Oops.

You better believe I wore that sticker for the rest of the day. Proudly. 

Only in Amish country, right?

It turns out that everything you've heard about the Amish is true. The farms, the cooking, the wood-working. I love when stereotypical things are true. It's my favorite. (However, I probably shouldn't be so superficial in my judgments of the stereotypical things I saw. After all, I don't want people to believe every stereotypical thing they hear about Mormons, unless those things include being friendly, hard-working, family-oriented people. In which case, it's all true! :) )

And yes, I drove around and then creeped on people with my 50x zoom camera. I just find something so fulfilling in that zoom. 

Cows. That's the life, eh? Haha. This is inside the farm that we visited. 

These pictures are in all sorts of wrong order, but oh well. Another plus about flying solo: shotgun! Can't beat that view, huh?

After my buggy ride, I had a real-life dutch Amish lunch, which was delicious. And the rain that started off the day went totally away. It was perfect! 

I definitely recommend checking out Pennsylvania's Amish country. It's a good time.  

Pain like I've never felt

So I've been meaning to write this post for a few weeks now--ever since my foray into the world of the ER. Here's the story:

It was a Monday night where I first had a horrible pain in my back. I didn't know what was going on or why--all I knew was that it was killing me. Now I am new to this whole physical pain thing. I've been pretty lucky in my life to never have had any serious medical conditions or accidents or anything. Probably a good thing since I'm obviously kind of a wimp. After I took a hot bath and the pain level didn't change at all, I writhed on my bed and reconciled myself to my impending death. To my surprise, I kept my consciousness and all of a sudden, the pain just stopped. I thought that was weird. Then I went to bed.

Next morning, I was driving to my stores that were 2 hours away. An hour and a half into my drive, the pain comes back. I sped to the nearest exit, fearing I would pass out from the pain tearing into my back. Parked in front of a gas station, more writhing ensued. Once I got a handle on the pain, my first thought was to call my little sister. I reached for my phone and felt a very distinct, "call Lisa." So I instead called my older sister, Lisa, and proceeded to sob on the phone to her. She did her best to calm me down and coach me into the "neutral back" position (lying in the backseat of my car)--but that didn't help the pain. She started asking me about what I'd been eating, which I thought was weird, but then she said that she recognized my symptoms because she'd had them before. Gallstones. Kill me. So after crying on the phone with her for a good half an hour and trying to find out which of my coworkers was nearest to me so they could come pick me up, the pain again stopped. 

I eventually ended up at the ER (after going to three different clinics and crying at each one as i explained what had happened) just outside of Greensboro, North Carolina. Random, much? Yeah. They did an ultrasound, blood tests (yes, I passed out also when they drew my blood.)--the whole nine yards. Hours and hours later, the doctor came in to tell me the prognosis: one little gallstone. Luckily, there was no need for an immediate surgery or anything, so I picked myself up and drove the hour and  a half back to my hotel. It took me a while to dare to eat real food again (though in addition to my self-imposed no-sugar diet, I am now also dairy-free [which I did for about 8 months anyway, so I'm used to that] and low-fat--in an attempt to keep my gallbladder from having to work too hard and attack me again), but I haven't had any problems since. Phew!

As funny as it may seem, this whole experience was actually a blessing. I was praying hard in the days preceding the attack for help in eating better. And although this was quite an extreme answer, it is definitely forcing me to be more conscientious of what I eat. The threat of excruciating pain can do wonders for self-control.

The other thing about this experience that I learned was again, just how aware Father in Heaven is of me and my situation--though at times it seems as though He picks and chooses what prayers to answer... I digress. I am positive that it was the Spirit who prompted me to call my older sister--probably the only person I know who could've recognized my symptoms for what they were (people with gallstones don't always have pain in their back--it's more often in the abdomen, but Lisa's pain was in the exact same spot as mine). 

This experience also strengthened my testimony of the Priesthood. My friend called his friend who lives in NC, who called her brother, who called his home teaching companion to come over to my hotel room with him and give me a blessing. Talk about the Priesthood in action! It was my first experience with a complete stranger giving me a blessing, and it just made it all the more evident that the words spoken were coming straight from the Lord.

Finally, this whole gallstone debacle taught me an important lesson about the Atonement. I have read Alma 7 I don't know how many times in my life, but I have never understood the magnitude of those few verses in the middle:

11. And he shall go forth, suffering pains and afflictions and temptations of every kind; and this that the word might be fulfilled which saith he will take upon him the pains and the sicknesses of his people. 

12. And he will take upon him death, that he may loose the bands of death which bind his people; and he will take upon him their infirmities, that his bowels may be filled with mercy, according to the flesh, that he may know according to the flesh how to succor his people according to their infirmities. 

13 Now the Spirit knoweth all things; nevertheless the Son of God suffereth according to the flesh that he might take upon him the sins of his people, that he might blot out their transgressions according to the power of his deliverance; and now behold, this is the testimony which is in me.

Just think about that. Often we think of the Atonement in two parts: overcoming 1) physical death, meaning we will be resurrected, and 2) spiritual death, meaning we can be forgiven of our sins. But It really isn't as cut and dry as that, and it's unbelievable to think that those two things were all that were required of our Savior, but He went above and beyond what was merely required to redeem us. He decided to forego learning about all our other trials through the Spirit and chose instead to experience all the pains of mortal life Himself. Not to save us. Not to redeem us. Not for any practical use as far as the Atonement goes. He did it so that His bowels would be filled with mercy. So that He could empathize with us in every painful situation. I just can't get over that. I can't get over the love He has for us and His willingness to suffer every affliction, every pain, so that, in my own moments of pain and affliction, I know that I can turn to Him and find the support and comfort I need. This demi-god truly descended beneath all, experiencing the full gamut of the mortal experience so that He could know according to the flesh how to succor us. He can succor us--come to our aid--not because He is God, but because He was man. What an extraordinary love. What an incomprehensible sacrifice on His part.  I am so happy to know who my Savior is. 

So all in all, I'm just totally grateful for that horrible pain I felt, if only for the lessons it taught me and the opportunity it allowed me to utilize the Atonement in a way I never have before. (That's not to say I want to go through it again, but still!)

Oh hey

Remember how I have a blog? Yeah... apparently traveling all summer and having limited down time means that I completely stop blogging. But here I am--waiting at a Sprint store--blogging. This sure has been a crazy summer--so much fun and totally worth the exhaustion I'm feeling at the moment from a late-night flight and long drive last night. Sometimes it's hard to remember what state I'm in, which gets confusing. For example, yesterday I was in Tennessee. The day before, Alabama. Today, Illinois. So crazy.

Anyway, I'm super happy that I was presented with this fun summer internship and that I felt prompted to do this instead of staying at home and working some poorly paid editing internship. This has been so worth it! I'm continually amazed at how much Father in Heaven finds ways to bless His children. I was thinking last night as I was flying over an incredibly beautiful sunset that He really does have a plan for each of us. I just wish sometimes I could get a glimpse of that plan! However, I try to have the faith the He will continue to guide my future as He has my past (as we sing). 

Let me pose this question: how do you see the assurances of the Lord in your life?

Broadway!

What trip to NYC would be complete without Broadway? I mean, come on. BROADWAY. It's like something you always dream about. I had pretty high hopes and I am delighted to say that I feel like I got some good deals and great memories out of my Broadway experiences. 

Broadway #1: Newsies

Sierra and I braved going into the city for the first time (ever! for both of us!) on a rainy Tuesday night. We had no umbrellas and pretty much got soaked, but it was oh so worth it!

Here we are on the train:

Waiting in line for the lottery tickets... which we didn't win. But you know what? At least the guy who had waited 5 times already DID. :)

Sierra's Marilyn moment:

So we didn't get the lottery tickets, but after running around in the rain looking for various other deals, we ended up getting a pretty good deal at the box office. Their only stipulation was that they didn't have two seats together. Oh well, we thought, and then proceeded to our seats. Sierra was directed up the stairs, and I was directed straight through, so we said our goodbyes and found our seats... which ended up being right in front of/behind each other! So fun :)

The best part of Newsies? "There are tap shoes!!" 

This musical was seriously incredible. I would see it a million more times. So, you know, if you need someone to go with you on your next trip to New York, just let me know!

Broadway #2: Annie

So. Annie. Pretty much one of my favorite movies ever. Could probably quote the entire thing. Love the songs. Almost makes me wish I had red hair. So naturally I had pretty high expectations here. 

I'm sorry to report that it was a bit of a letdown. Maybe it's the fact that I'm not the die-hard Jane Lynch fan that apparently other people are, but I felt like she was almost mocking her own character the whole time. It was weird. Or maybe it was the fact that we were on the front row and could see—as talented as they really were—the little girls counting out the steps in their minds. Kind of distracting. Oh well. I'll just stick to the movie from now on. Still had fun on this girls' night, though! 

Broadway #3: Rodgers and Hammerstein's Cinderella

Another childhood CLASSIC (I'm talking the 1965 version that we had on VHS. You had that one, too, right?). And then, of course, the Brandy version came out and it was even better and full of that Whoopi, Whitney, interracial goodness. In all, just one of my very favorites. I maybe appreciated this show a bit more because I had to go really early and sit in the heat for like 2 hours and then do a panicked idiot-run looking for an ATM when I found out they didn't accept cards. Oh, and I also maybe had to try to bribe random student-aged people on the street to come in and stand with me as I bought the tickets so I could get two. Lots of work. 

The theater was also incredible. Added to the Cinderella ambiance, for sure. 

Pretty sure you weren't supposed to take pictures inside the theater. Oops. 

In one word, this show was incredible!! I could've seen it back-to-back a hundred more times, probably. The scenery, the music, the different-from-the-movies storyline. THE COSTUME CHANGES. I'm not kidding. It was incredible. And I was so, so happy that that's how we spent our last night in New York! What a lovely night! 

So. Yeah. Broadway. I'll be back.

South street

If you've been to Philly, you know that South Street is where it's at... apparently. To me, most of it seemed filled with wildly inappropriate stores that I was embarrassed to walk past and a whole lot of other sketchy things going on, but some of the buildings weren't so bad.

One thing I noticed in Philadelphia: they love murals. Seriously. They are EVERYWHERE. And I love it.

After trying the three best-known cheesesteak places in town, I can say with confidence that Jim's is my favorite. Everything you every wanted to believe about the deliciousness of Philly cheesesteaks comes true right here in this place.

Kylee trying to decide what to get. As if there are options :)

Yes we got the first bite on film: (kind of a strange phrase to use anymore, right? Since there's no film involved... how about "Yes we captured the first bite on... my phone"? Just doesn't quite seem right.)

That's how good it was: