Insight

Have I mentioned how great my job is? Well, it really is. In the last issue, I wrote just a few things: this, this, and this. Nothing big. Don't be impressed. 

But apart from the writing and editing for BYU Mag, sometimes they ask us to edit or proofread stuff for the law school, business school, or nursing magazines. Last week, I proofread this devotional address by James Rasband called "Faith to Forgive Grievous Harms: Accepting the Atonement," and it was just so great that I thought I'd share. I don't think I have a huge issue with forgiveness. Nobody has ever really committed a grievous harm against me, but this talk really gave me some insight onto the principle of forgiveness and the Atonement.

Bro. Rasband gives the analogy of a forgiving landlord. Basically, you, as the renter, are given this really nice house and given certain rules and instructions for how to care for and improve the house. But sometimes you mess up--you punch a hole in the wall, your kitchen accidentally catches fire, you forget to put your pipes on drip when it's freezing outside and you flood the house. You get the picture. Basically, you're not the best tenant in the whole world. But your landlord is like, "You're fine. We'll fix this. No big deal." He reminds you of his instructions at the beginning, and all is well.

Well, one day, the landlord's punk son comes around and sets your shed on fire as a prank. Don't worry, it catches, and the dumb kid burns down your whole house to the ground. Photos, heirlooms, all your possessions. Gone. 

So what's the landlord going to do now? I mean, he was cool with it when it was you messing up your own house, but now that it was someone else who messed things up, what's going to happen? How is he going to replace everything that you lost? Pretty sure photos and heirlooms can't be replaced. And yet, this landlord tells you that it will all be restored to you. 

Despite these optimistic promises, you're still mad! You want that dang son to pay for what he's done. And frankly, you don't really trust that the landlord can make complete restitution for everything that you've lost.

Obviously, Christ is the landlord in this analogy, and Bro. Rasband's point is that He can make restitution for everything you've lost--even when it was because of someone else's mistakes or sins.

So his talk is mixed in with a lot of stuff directed to lawyers, since he was the dean of the law school at the time, just FYI. But besides all that, here are some of my favorite quotes from his talk:

"Why is it that we sometimes have trouble accepting the Atonement as recompense for the harms we suffer at others' hands? . . . We can sometimes forget that the Atonement has two sides. Usually, when we think about the Atonement we focus on how mercy can satisfy the demands that justice would impose upon us. We are typically quicker to accept the idea that when we sin and make mistakes the Atonement is available to pay our debts."

"Forgiveness requires us to consider the other side of the Atonement--a side that we don't think about as often but that is equally critical. That side is the Atonement's power to satisfy our demands of justice against others, to fulfill our rights to restitution and being made whole. We often don't quite see how the Atonement satisfies our own demands for justice. Yet it does so. It heals us not only from the guilt we suffer when we sin, but it also heals us from the sins and hurts of others."

"My testimony is that the Atonement really can make us completely whole, even for those things that seem like they can't be fixed or repaired."

He talks about how the Atonement completely fulfills the Law of Moses--more than just the law of sacrifice, but also the restitution for wrongs.
"The Mosaic law was not designed only to punish the wrongdoer. The Mosaic law also existed to protect, compensate, and make whole those harmed by others, whether intentionally or negligently. If Christ came to fulfill all the terms of the law, this part of the Mosaic law should also be fulfilled by the Atonement."

"Forgiving others . . .  is a profound act of faith in the Atonement and the promise that the Savior's sacrifice repays not just our debts to others but also the debts of others to us."

"My greatest concern is that if we wrongly believe forgiveness requires us to minimize the harms we suffer, this mistaken belief will be a barrier to developing a forgiving heart."

"Sometimes we burn the house down through our own carelessness--we play with fire. Sometimes the house burns down through no fault of our own--lightning strikes and there is nothing we can do about it. Sometimes our house burns down because of the sins of others--such as with the landlord's arsonist son . . . The wonder of the Atonement is that it works for all three cases. But our own receipt of the Atonement is conditional on forgiving others."

Anyway, hope that gave you as much insight into the principle of forgiveness as it did for me!

Happy new baby!

 "New Year's Eve balloons with Father Time and the New Year's baby on them. We'll blow them up and cheat the old man side to the wall so we can't see it, and then change the word 'year' so it says 'happy new baby!'"

We had fun celebrating Britney's baby last month--the first of our group of missionary friends to procreate. Nice job, Britney :) Anyway, we've noticed that whenever we all get invited somewhere, we are the loudest group. What can we say, we're all just so hilarious that it's hard to stay quiet.

I wish I had taken a picture of my cute present--Dr. Seuss books and a little straw-haired doll.

Alas. At least we got this group shot:

Published!

Remember that one time when that one class took over my life? Well, the results of that have finally been published online!

I wrote three articles for the magazine:

1- the first one is about places around the world that inspired famous artwork, inspired, obviously, by my trip to Arles, France, where Van Gogh did a lot of his paintings. It was a fun article to write, and it gave me a reason to finally go to Iowa. I mean, Italy. 

Venice canal

2- the next one is about riding animals outside the norm (what would "the norm" be, horses? Yeah...). I'm still regretting not going to that elephant-riding place in Kenya. Oh well. I'll just do it on my next trip to Thailand. 

Riding an elephant

3- the last one is about volunteering with elderly people. Inspired, again, obviously, by my summer spent volunteering with elderly people in Toulon, France. I interviewed several different people for this article, and the general consensus was that elderly people are awesome. 

Jacqueline and I with our favorite, Madame Bienvenu

Anyway, check em out... if you want. And if you do, let me know what you think! Unless you hate them. In that case, you can just keep your comments to yourself ;)

Hubble deep field

So have you all heard of the hubble deep field? It's basically an image taken over ten days from the hubble space telescope. It covers 1/24 millionth of the sky ("and, begging your pardon, Mr. President, but it's a big-a sky"--name that movie). And in that teeny tiny bit of sky, there are about 3,000 objects within sight. And those objects aren't stars. They're galaxies. Yeah. Wrap your mind around that.  

Anyway, this little piece of information led a coworker and I to have an interesting conversation about knowledge and God's omniscience. Actually, the conversation started by our incredulity over how many genius people there are in the world (I mean, when you come up with the 7th and final Huzita-Hatori origami axiom, you are just logged away with every other genius out there, right?), and how everyone's brains work so differently. Take me, for example. English, grammar? I'm all over that. Math, science? Kill me. My brain just simply doesn't accept that genre of knowledge. Oh well.

So back to these 3,000 galaxies. How insane is that? I mean, we know already the doctrine that Heavenly Father has created worlds without number, but seriously? We never really think about that. And He is able to have done that and keep track of it all because He knows all. English, languages, math, science, origami--all of it. 

As my coworker and I were having this conversation, I definitely had a Moses moment in realizing that  "man is nothing." We are just these tiny specks in this whole... universe? Does that include other galaxies? Whatever. We are basically nothing. 

Naturally, this reminded me of President Uchtforf's talk "You Matter to Him" (yes, I know I have written about this talk before, but it's just that good). I love how he talks about this, and especially how he divides up his talk--first, we are less than we suppose, especially in the face of things like the hubble deep field image. Next, we are greater than we suppose, since the entire universe was created, essentially, for us. Then he talks about pride and how pride can do one of two things: puff us up and make us believe "in the fantasy of [our] own self-important and invincibility"; or, Satan can convince us that we are too insignificant to be of value, even to God. 

I think I'm more on the latter side. I often feel insignificant and unimportant (and, frankly, when talking to some of the people that I interview for work, dumb), and yet there have been so many times in my life when I have been 100% sure that Heavenly Father is aware of me and my needs and that I am completely in His care. How He can take care of all His children so personally and individually and lovingly is completely outside my understanding, but there it is, nonetheless.

Some of my favorite quotes from Pres. Uchdorf's talk:

"It may be true that man is nothing in comparison to the greatness of the universe. At times we may even feel insignificant, invisible, alone, or forgotten. But always remember you matter to Him!"

"God sees you not only as a mortal being on a small planet who lives for a brief season--He sees you as His child. He sees you as the being you are capable and designed to become. He wants you to know that you matter to Him."

"May we ever believe, trust, and align our lives so that we will understand our true eternal worth and potential."

Anyway, go read it. It's great. And then remember that, despite the mind-blowing hugeness of the universe, you are still important to and known by the Being that created it.

The pavilion

How about just saying that I'll do this whole general-conference-talk thing once a week? Okay, deal. 

So I just got home from teaching a lesson to a recent convert in our ward. It was AWESOME. Like, seriously. I got to teach a missionary lesson again, bear my testimony, exchange a few of those awkward transitioning-to-your-teaching-companion looks, share scriptures, and just feel the Spirit. It really made me miss the mission field (and it made me sad that I'm moving. Hopefully I'll get this same calling in my next ward!). Anyway, I was perusing general conference talks, and this one by President Eyring caught my eye: "Where Is the Pavilion?" 

He starts off by talking about Joseph Smith in Liberty Jail, and how he cried out to the Lord, "O God, where art thou? And where is the pavilion that covereth thy hiding place?" (Side note: I've been doing a lot of research about Quincy, Illinois, lately, and how kind the people there were to the Saints when they were kicked out of Missouri . . . during the same time that Joseph Smith was in Liberty Jail. It's an interesting comparison there.)

The Prophet Joseph felt like God was so far away. I know that there are times in life when "divine aid" (as Pres. Eyring calls it) seems completely absent. I think most of my emotional breakdowns (give me a break, I'm a girl) come when I feel that distance between me and the Lord's guiding hand. It's so hard to be confident in the future and the Lord's timetable when it feels like your present is stuck in a rut. 

Voila a pavilion.
Basically the analogy is that God is somehow hiding under this pavilion, and we can't see Him or find Him. But it's really us putting that pavilion there, because the Lord doesn't ever hide from us.

So what is it that creates this pavilion, this block between us and the Lord? Here are a few of the things that Pres. Eyring lists:

-Our own desires, rather than a feeling of "Thy will be done." We may be unwilling to listen or submit to His will and His time. 

-Our insistence on acting according to our own timetable. . . . We can't insist on our timetable when the Lord has His own.

-Fear of man rather than a desire to serve others

I feel like this list could go on and on. Basically anything that takes the Spirit away from us is a pavilion, blocking us from contact with Heavenly Father. But I think that Pres. Eyring really hits the nail on the head here, because when we get caught up in our own desires, we become stubborn and we really don't want to take advice or counsel from anyone, even the Lord. I don't know why we get like that! I think that sometimes that stubbornness comes from fear or just being fed up with our situations, so we think we can take matters into our own hands, so to speak. Why is it that we always somehow think that our plans are going to be better than Heavenly Father's? Silly children.

The good news is that we can get rid of these pavilions. 

How?

-Become more childlike before Him

-Seek to do His work

-Pray for a divine errand

-Extend love and forgiveness

President Eyring talks about all the examples of people in the scriptures who also had to wait on the timetable of the Lord, including Abraham and Sarah:

"Heaven had other purposes to fulfill first. Those purposes included not only building Abraham and Sarah's faith but also teaching them eternal truths that they shared with other on their long, circuitous route to the land prepared for them. The Lord's delays often seem long; some last a lifetime. But they are always calculated to bless. They never need be times of loneliness or sorrow or impatience."

It seems funny that something so painful as waiting on the Lord's timetable is "always calculated to bless." Just goes to show, His thoughts are surely not our thoughts, and our ways are definitely not His ways.

"Although His time is not always our time, we can be sure that the Lord keeps His promises."

So there you go--heard it from an Apostle of the Lord himself.

Anyway. So back to my missionary flash-back night. I'm tying it back in. Maybe. Tonight, I just had the feeling that there was nothing blocking the spirit from being in the room. There was no pavilion, just pure truth being shared. And again, it was awesome. I love those moments when you just know, 100%, that it's true, because you just couldn't have imagined that strong of a witness from the Spirit. "It" being the gospel, the Church. Because if that's true, it means that everything else is also true, including the promises of the Lord. As Elder Holland said, "Some blessings come soon, some come late, and some don't come until Heaven; but for those who embrace the gospel of Jesus Christ, they come." 

Printing press

Last week for our field trip in my History of the Book class, we went to the Crandall Historical Printing Museum to see the whole process of how books used to be printed--Gutenberg style. 

They claim to have the only working model of a Gutenberg press, and I have to admit, it's pretty impressive! Check it out:

This cute old man standing in front of the press. It was almost like a little play that he put on, because he was explaining a lot of the history behind it as he was showing us how the press works. 

 The punch for the type:

 Setting the type:

 I was super impressed with him at this point. He is using these stamp things to rub the ink together, dispersing it evenly across the surface. The picture doesn't show how fast and aptly he's rubbing them together, turning them around at the same time. He must have some serious wrist muscles! 

("super-bionic, super-powered, super wrists?")

 Here he is stamping on the ink:

 Setting the paper down:

closing it and putting it under the press:

 And then you pull the lever to press it:

 And voila! You have a printed page!

Some other little things lying around:

To create the actual type, you first have to make a mold, so basically you pour some kind of metal into that little contraption with the round part (the two pieces lying there fit together) (there's a mold for each letter), and it hardens super fast and you get your little type piece. 

The moveable type is loaded into what's called a composing stick (that thing with a handle) in small sections.

 The prints hanging up to dry:

 The ink table:

 They have a copy (like, a facsimile) of Gutenberg's 42-line Bible. 

The guy on the right is Bro. Crandall himself. All the guys that work here are just so cute. They are obviously so passionate about what they do and seem to be quite knowledgeable about printing presses in general.

 So, basically this place is pretty legit. I think we're going back two more times to learn... more about printing (obviously I don't know what it is that we're going to learn). But if you think it looks cool, you should definitely go! It's $4 per person, but you have to have at least 15 people. Their real presentation lasts about two hours, they said (we didn't have that much time, so I'm assuming that's why we're going back). It would definitely be worth the $4!! 

275 E. Center Street, Provo

Stay tuned for our next visit in a few weeks!

Paper making

Remember my awesome schedule this year? And how one of the classes that I'm taking is History of the Book? Well, it's awesome. We have class twice a week, and one of those days is a field trip. Last week, we went to visit this paper-making guy, and we got to make our own paper! For some reason, it sounds a lot cooler than it really is. Or is it that cool? I can't decide. Either way, here are some pictures I took of this guy's little garage-turned-paper-making shop

Papers hanging up to dry. 

A(n unoccupied) paper wasp nest:

These are so cool--this is the actual paper, it's not a drawing or anything. It has to do with the mold that they use to make the paper, so these are basically just really intricate watermarks. Crazy, huh?

Mr. Paper-maker explaining how it's done:

And then demonstrating. I don't know why he chose to make the paper yellow for us. Oh well.

Scooping up the liquid paper (a bin of warm water and paper particles that got stuck on our hands),

letting it drain, 

and then it stick to the little mold thing (I'm trying to think if there's a word for that... I'm sure there is. I don't know it).

And then you had to roll it so that it stuck to these cloth strips.

Here I am making my own paper:

And then after waiting about a week for them to dry, we all got our pieces of paper back! Ta-da! It's like magic! 

But really, it's not every day that you get to say that you made your own piece of paper! Now the question is what am I going to do with it?

Headshot

I think this might be my favorite haircut ever! 

And maybe I'll actually start curling my hair on a regular basis... can I do it? Haha, we'll see.