His love.

Church was really great today. In Relief Society we talked about service and sharing Christ's love with others. We talked about the Atonement, and were asked to reflect upon our experiences with Christ and His Atonement in our lives. The teacher showed us this amazing slideshow with pictures of Christ visiting the Americas after His resurrection. I am pretty much obsessed with it. I just love how much love you can see here (obviously, I realize that they are actors, but they did a good job portraying these scenes). Reflecting on my own experiences with Christ, I just think of the love that He has shown me even in my moments of weakness and disobedience; the Spirit of forgiveness and peace that I have been able to feel as I've applied the Atonement to my life and repented of my sins. I am and will probably always be so far from the perfection that He demands, but He loves me anyway, and is always willing to help me as long as I'm still willing to try. I loved this one guy's testimony in fast and testimony meeting today-- he was talking about how he doubts if his newly-baptized 8 year old self, or his newly-ordained 12 year old self, or his newly-set apart-as-a-missionary 19 year old self would be pleased with the decisions that he's made in his life. But, despite all of those mistakes and made choices, he said, he's still here (ie- at church). He still knows that it's true, and he's still willing to try. I think the only time we really fail is when we stop trying; when we stop repenting and having faith in the Savior's Atonement. I have come to learn that repentance is something that I will never not need. All I can do is try my hardest (with all my heart, might, mind and strength), and ask for help as I'm trying and forgiveness when I fall. Like my 6 year old niece once remarked to me, "Aren't you so glad that Jesus died for us?" Unbelievably so.

In Sunday school, we talked about the Atonement again-- Christ's sufferings in the garden of Gethsemane. Discussing these sacred moments, there is always something new to be learned. We watched this great Mormon Message. After that, we read in Matthew 26:36-38 and talked about how Christ asked his apostles to come with Him to the garden, tarry there, and watch. If you look at the footnote for watch, it says "stay awake." The teacher compared that to how Christ tells us to stay awake, stay alert, and stay away from sin. He cross-referenced 2 Nephi 4 (presently my favorite chapter in the Book of Mormon):28, "Awake, my soul! No longer droop in sin. Rejoice, O my heart, and give place no more the enemy of my soul." I also thought of how it goes along perfectly with the exhortation in Mosiah 4:30 that if we do not "watch ourselves" and our thoughts, and our words, and our deeds, and observe the commandments of God, and continue in the faith of what we have heard concerning the coming of our Lord, even unto the end of our lives, we must perish. "O man, remember, and perish not."

We read in Luke 22:41-44, and I loved one girl's comment about how Christ prayed that it could be different, if there were another way to accomplish this. But there wasn't, and Heavenly Father's will had to be done this way. How many times do we pray that our lives can go differently (as our teacher said, "Heavenly Father, I'm not digging this path that Thou hast chosen for me"); that a certain trial can be taken away from us? But when there's not another way to fulfill the Lord's plan for us, He'll help us, just as He helped Christ by sending an angel to strength Him. What a wonderful lesson, and great perspective on many perceived unanswered prayers.

Finally, we read in Mark 14:41-42. After having accomplished the Atonement and taken upon Himself all the sins of the world, the Savior rejoins His sleeping apostles, maybe a little disappointed in them for not having watched as He'd asked them, and said to them, "Sleep on now, and take your rest: it is enough...". Because of His sacrifice, we can have the hope of one day entering into His rest and enjoying eternal life. I know that Christ suffered for our sins. How humbling is that? In return, we need to have faith in Him, repent, keep our covenants, seek the Spirit, and endure to the end. We may never be perfect in this life, but with Christ at least we can keep trying. I know that we can receive forgiveness, happiness, and peace in this life because of His love for us and His sufferings in the garden of Gethsemane.

And on a different note, can I just say how much I love America? I love the hymns we sing in July-- America the Beautiful, My Country 'Tis of Thee, Battle Hymn of the Republic, the national anthem. We are truly in the promised land here, and I don't think we realize how blessed we are to live in this country and have every opportunity given to us that so many people could never even imagine having. I feel as though the 4th of July should be more like Thanksgiving than even Thanksgiving, because we truly have SO much to be grateful for in this country. So, count your many blessings!

And another random sidenote: I just found this song that my second companion (from Tahiti) and I listened to ALL the time while we served together for 3 months. It's these LDS brothers from New Zealand--The Moleni Brothers) who just have the most beautiful voices. I remember listening to this CD one night on the way home to Rivière Salée from the chapel in Mont Dore. I think we'd been there for a fireside. But I just remember looking out at the beautiful ocean, and wondering how on earth I'd ended up in this little tiny island in the middle of the south pacific, and how blessed I'd been. I just remember feeling so overwhelmed with my blessings and the goodness and mercy of the Lord. I love this song because it reminds us of how to keep our baptismal covenants, which is really where all our blessings come from. :) Enjoy!