12 things I like about winter

I am a Utah native—born and raised in the midst of the purported greatest snow on earth—and have not once been skiing or snowboarding. Travesty, I know. Along with that, I'm pretty warm-blooded, meaning that I run on cold. All. The. Time. I'm wearing a coat indoors right now as I write this. Hence, I'm not the biggest winter person, but I've decided to take stock of all the things that I do like about wintertime. Odd that I chose the very end of winter to reflect on what I like about it? Oh well.

And also, I'm including the pictures I took from my past two weekends in a row of going snowshoeing. I know—me, snowshoeing? I'm trying to get better at winter, here. Be proud of me.

Here's the list of things I like (dare I say love for a few of them??) about winter:

1. Coat pockets. I'm not a huge fan of coats/jackets like so many other people, but I do have to say that I appreciate always having a place for my lip gloss, phone, and keys other than my pants pockets. Once summertime rolls around, I have to carry a bag around with me all the time, and it's annoying. I have honestly worn holes in the pockets of my jeans where my lip gloss goes because I don't always want to haul around a bag. It's kind of a problem.

2. Cuddling. Does this even need an explanation? You're cold. I'm cold. Let's be not cold together.

3. Hot chocolate. Yes, they make it sugar-free, much to my delight. :)

4. Heaters. I just love being warm. When I'm in my car, you can pretty much count on the fact that I have my heater going full blast. My passengers often have to tell me that they're too hot before I even notice that it's a million degrees.

5. Sweaters. I am not a fan of long-sleeved shirts. Like, at all. I don't think I even own one, and if I do, I am certain that I didn't buy it. Sweaters, on the other hand, are one of the best inventions ever.

6. Winter pajamas: socks, sweatpants, sweatshirts. Coincidentally the perfect cuddling attire (though if you ask me in summertime, you know I'm going to say that it's shorts and t-shirts).

7. Boots! Remember how I own sandals? Uh... no, no I don't. I bet that 20 years from now, we're all going to realize how ridiculous and tacky we all looked in our skinny jeans and boots, but for now I don't even care. Boots = best thing ever. (Although, again, when I re-make this list for summertime, you know I'm going to say that sandals are the best thing ever.)

(looking at this picture makes me think that maybe I had them on the wrong feet... is that possible?)

8. Scarves. I wonder who first thought that your neck being cold was a really big issue...?

9. Sledding. I haven't been in a really long time, but it's fun, right? Until you have to climb back up the hill...

10. Snow when it is perfect and pristine and picturesque and you don't have to drive in it.

11. Snow-covered mountains. The only thing more beautiful than the mountains in Utah is the snow-covered mountains in Utah. I love when it looks like a postcard come to life.

12. ICE SKATING! I love ice skating so freaking much. Although, really, you can go ice skating anytime, right? It's just such a wintery thing that I had to add it to the list.

And... I'm out. What else is good about wintertime?

Muddling things, as mom says.

Confession: I once kissed a guy at the end of a blind date. Granted, it was a really good date including bike riding (winner), but still, we'd only known each other for about three hours before we were lip-locked on his driveway. I know, I know. Not my proudest moment. And let's not even get started on my cuddling stats. 

Much to my mother's chagrin, my number one love language is physical touch, and as such, I'm naturally more drawn to guys who are touchy and am, myself, quite touchy also. 

Over the past few years, I feel like I've become a bit looser with my lips (again, sorry mom.) (but really, as I think about it, I went years having the same boyfriend who I kissed a lot. So maybe the last statement really isn't true, it's just that it seems worse now that it's not all with the same person. Huh.). Don't get me wrong—I'm not going around kissing every guy I see, but if we've had a few good dates and there's chemistry, and he goes for it ("it" being a kiss or cuddling), I'm not going to stop him. Maybe it's part of that whole if-I'm-not-getting-married-anytime-soon-then-I-might-as-well-enjoy-it mindset. And I go back and forth on being okay with that, and then thinking that I shouldn't be quite such a lip liberalist. I know people who won't kiss someone unless they'd also feel comfortable saying "I love you" to them, which seems kind of extreme to me, but at the same time, kissing someone who you hardly know isn't really that great of an idea either. (I once made the rule that I wouldn't kiss someone unless I knew their middle name. Def broke that one recently. Whoops.) But I can never really decide once and for all where I lie on this issue. 

Here's the problem. The one that my mom always likes to point out to me, which, really, is preaching to the somewhat stubborn, maybe-too-fun-loving choir: when you get physical with someone that you're dating (or, perish the thought, with someone you're not even dating yet) too soon, it muddles things. 

Muddle, verb

1. To throw into a state of mental uncertainty

2. To undo the proper order or arrangement of

3. To make a mess of

Basically, getting physical too soon clouds your judgment of the person and your probably-not-too-substantial relationship (if you can even call it a relationship yet!). It messes up the natural order of things and overall just makes you confused and anxious for no good reason. And when I say "you," I mean "me."

Let me illustrate the distorted thought process here:

"I like kissing/cuddling" —> "I like kissing/cuddling with you" —> "I like you." ("Really? But wait. . . I don't even know you yet!")

See the problem?

I know this. I recognize the problem. And I still do it.

So a few months ago I went to this awesome Institute class about relationships. The speaker was so funny and clever, and I about died laughing. I wish I had written down any of the hilarious things she said, but trust me: it was great. One of her main talking points was about the stages of a relationship, as listed here:

1) Attraction

2) Uncertainty

3) Exclusivity

4) Emotional Intimacy

5) Engagement (like, literally engaged)

The problem comes when the physicality begins before even step number 2. Isn't the "uncertainty" label alone enough to dissuade me from picking up the pace before then? Apparently not. 

She also talked about how important it is to be a crock pot instead of a microwave when it comes to relationships. You get the analogy, right? No need to explain that one. Taking your time generally leads to better outcomes.

vs.

As one of my friends so aptly put it: "It's great being a microwave if you want instant gratification. But if you want something that will fill you up and even give you leftovers, it's better to invest in a crock pot meal." But really... who's got time for that? Hence why it's so hard to develop quality relationships: it takes a lot of time. Go figure. 

Maybe my mom will regret calling me "Mindy Annie" all these years because, just like Ado Annie, I have a problem: 

kissing is my favorite food!

The eternal predicament is destined to continue, my friends, unless something drastic happens. Please share with me your kissing-and-cuddling-delaying tactics. Or should I just embrace it? (haha... I didn't even make that pun on purpose.) What do you think? Mom, you don't need to comment; I already know your stance :)

Club 25

When I was growing up, I had this one friend in my neighborhood. We went to the church together every week, girls' camp every summer, and we always had a lot of fun together. Even though we shared a lot of the same beliefs, I think our families came from quite different political backgrounds, and she was the type to really care about politics and me not at all. I'm not sure if she would have totally self-identified as a feminist, but to my 13-year-old, Mormon-girl self, she was the closest thing I knew to one.

(Okay, I'm more like 8 or 9 in this picture {bottom left}, but it was the closest I could find!)

I feel like she understood much better than I did the things that I now find wrong with my church's organization for teen girls. I am by no means saying that it's bad or untrue or anything like that (because it is a wonderful program and there have been some really positive changes made in the decade or so since I was in the organization), I'm just saying that I think there are things (and maybe a lot of that is just cultural also) that shouldn't have been, such as focusing so much on preparing for marriage, the subtle undertones of getting an education "just in case," and making sure that whatever choice you do make as far as education and training goes will go hand-in-hand with motherhood. After a successful 6 years of weekly iterations along these lines, at 18 I felt I was more than prepared to step up to my destiny as a wife and mother. [Enter reality.]

(A classic snapshot from high school)

My friend, however, had other plans, one of which she referred to as "Club 25." She would talk about this club as if we had both agreed upon being members, which I definitely hadn't. Basically the premise was just that we wouldn't get married until we were 25. I don't recall now her reasoning behind this club (though I have to assume it revolved around getting a good education and having a good career and not needing to rely on a man or a title to achieve any of that) because to be honest, I probably tuned her out a lot when she talked about "our" plans for Club 25. There was no doubt in my mind that, despite her assumption that I was on board with her, I would be married and have 2.5 children by age 25. So I went to college with the "find-a-husband" mindset, and she went off to college with the "preparing-for-law-school" mindset.

(One of my favorite pictures from freshman year)

Now here we are, years later, and I laugh at what has happened. We both turned 26 last year (we're less than a month apart, so that helped the whole idea of the club), and while she was working on her law degree and celebrating her one-year wedding anniversary (because yes, she got married only a few months after turning 25, still being the only one of us to uphold the tenets of the club), I was still single and wondering what I was going to do with my life.

Now, I'm not saying that my youthful points of view were bad. Marriage and motherhood and family are all extremely important, and I still very much plan on one day having my own family, but honestly, there are other paths. There are other purposes that God might have for us. And that just wasn't something I was taught in my youth. It wasn't something anyone talked about, besides my friend. Maybe that's the very reason she was so adamant about it. And although I don't hold any hard feelings toward those who in my younger years steered me toward that path and no other, I sometimes wish that I had paid more attention to my friend's speeches about Club 25. Maybe then I would have thought out an actual career path instead of my "just in case" one. Maybe I would have been more willing to develop talents that I didn't think would be useful to my life as a wife. Maybe I wouldn't have spent years feeling that my life was on perma-pause because I wasn't a wife or mother.

Or maybe not. My life hasn't gone how I planned, but I still believe that God has been slowly leading me to find my purpose. Or, more appropriately, His purpose. I'm not sure that I know it yet, but I feel its subtle prodding here and there, and I know I'm on the right path.

So just consider me an honorary member of Club 25. I realize I already missed the deadline, but I've stopped missing the point.